This all started when my officemate suddenly opened up his 3 week old relationship problems with his girlfriend. After giving some practical relationship advice 😂, I asked myself, “how many more single guys out there having these struggles”. The next day, I wrote down the following while waiting for a bus.

The following are practical tips, ideas, advice on how to be a better Single. But before anything else, let me share first, the benefit of being Single. Let’s Go!!

Benefits of being Single:

  1. Freedom
    • This is the season where you have the freedom to choose. Choose and learn where to spend your time, money and strengths. Make the best of it!
  2. Mobility
    • Travel and Go anywhere you like without asking anyone’s permission. (but please let your family know where you are ✌)
  3. Satisfaction
    • If you are into outreaches, passion, hobbies and so on; this is the perfect season for you to invest without thinking other else. Enjoy your “Me Time” also!

How to be a better Single:

  1. Get to know yourself
    • Know your interest, strengths, passion and goal in life & career. Explore wisely the freedom you have. Self-awareness is the key to discover your weaknesses, fear and those deep inside you.
    • Sometimes without knowing yourself has a tendency and temptation of faking yourself in front of others. And this will conflict your relationship in the long run.
    • But knowing yourself gives you the confidence and boldness. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. Know your identity.
    • For ladies, “knowing yourself (your identity) is knowing your worth, and when you know your worth, you won’t settle for less. You are not on-sale, so don’t give them discounts! (let them pursue)”. It’s okay to have a standard. (realistic standards 😂 )
  2. Build Relationships
    • *I recently learned this from someone (kamown! 🤩 )
    • This is the best time to get to know others, build relationships and connections, meet new friends and communities or maybe business partners and even lifetime partner.
    • And speaking of lifetime partner, I think, where you spend your time is, is where you can find your lifetime partner; most of the time. And most of them are on the front line, in the battlefield where they can express the real them in action and with passion. #StrongIndependentWoMan
    • If you are looking for a God-fearing partner but you are spending your time in a bar; most likely you cannot find one.
  3. Heal Yourself
    • This is too broad to discuss everything about healing but let me give you at least two (2) points
      1. Emotionally Broken – it is natural to look for someone to comfort you when you are hurt, but it’s not a good idea to fill-in that void inside you by entering a new relationship. Remember “Hurting people, hurt people”. Heal and Move-on. “Thank You, Next” is a bad idea, or maybe not this time; sorry Arianna Grande. 😋
      2. Soul Caring – again there’s a void deep inside us that we tried to fill-in. And we are duped believing that someone (opposite sex) can satisfy this void, NOPE! Know that our soul longs for someone bigger and higher than us, a being that can love us unconditionally. And that is nothing else than the maker of our soul, our Lord Jesus Christ; YES! HE IS.
  4. Family Time
    • This is the perfect time to invest and spend time with your family. Consider this as your training ground for your own future family.
    • Take care of your parents, siblings and also your pets 😂
    • Learn the Leave, Cleave and Weave (google it)
  5. Develop Yourself
    • Develop your emotion, physical, intellectual and social
    • Evaluate your immaturity, how you react on conflicts and negativity
    • Before finding the right one, be the right one now
    • Be actively waiting, while developing and positioning yourself into a greater purpose of life
    • “mabuti na wala kaysa mali”
  6. Manage your finances well
    • “Finance before Romance”
    • Financial discipline, keep record your expenses; “it’s not what you have, its what do you do with what you have” principle
    • You don’t need to wait to have a million in bank to say that you are good with finances, although that’s good but overall you just need to be financially responsible
    • It is also important to align your heart, “where your treasure is, there your heart will be also”
  7. Purpose
    • Know that Singleness is not being lonely. Singleness is a gift. A season where you can flourish and be fruitful in life.
    • For Guys, we are known for a “Man with a Plan” (sense of direction). If you are in the courtship season or in the relationship already, then you should have a plan of getting married soon.
    • But what exactly our purpose of being single? Well, there are a lot to talk about. Maybe we can start by asking yourself:
    • What consumes you? 
    • What consumes your heart? 
    • Is it Career? Money? Relationship?
    • Who is the master of your heart?
    • Is it God? some idols or vices?
    • If you are still looking for your purpose in life then go back to #1, Know Your Identity in Christ. Start small and Start now.

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