#Singlehood: Getting Started

This all started when my officemate suddenly opened up his 3 week old relationship problems with his girlfriend. After giving some practical relationship advice 😂, I asked myself, “how many more single guys out there having these struggles”. The next day, I wrote down the following while waiting for a bus.

The following are practical tips, ideas, advice on how to be a better Single. But before anything else, let me share first, the benefit of being Single. Let’s Go!!

Benefits of being Single:

1. Freedom
   • This is the season where you have the freedom to choose. Choose and learn where to spend your time, money and strengths. Make the best of it!
2. Mobility
   • Travel and Go anywhere you like without asking anyone’s permission. (but please let your family know where you are ✌)
3. Satisfaction
   • If you are into outreaches, passion, hobbies and so on; this is the perfect season for you to invest without thinking other else. Enjoy your “Me Time” also!

How to be a better Single:

1. Get to know yourself
   • Know your interest, strengths, passion and goal in life & career. Explore wisely the freedom you have. Self-awareness is the key to discover your weaknesses, fear and those deep inside you.
   • Sometimes without knowing yourself has a tendency and temptation of faking yourself in front of others. And this will conflict your relationship in the long run.
   • But knowing yourself gives you the confidence and boldness. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. Know your identity.
   • For ladies, “knowing yourself (your identity) is knowing your worth, and when you know your worth, you won’t settle for less. You are not on-sale, so don’t give them discounts! (let them pursue)”. It’s okay to have a standard. (realistic standards 😂 )
     
2. Build Relationships
   • *I recently learned this from someone (kamown! 🤩 )
   • This is the best time to get to know others, build relationships and connections, meet new friends and communities or maybe business partners and even lifetime partner.
   • And speaking of lifetime partner, I think, where you spend your time is, is where you can find your lifetime partner; most of the time. And most of them are on the front line, in the battlefield where they can express the real them in action and with passion. #StrongIndependentWoMan
   • If you are looking for a God-fearing partner but you are spending your time in a bar; most likely you cannot find one.
     
3. Heal Yourself
   • This is too broad to discuss everything about healing but let me give you at least two (2) points
     1. Emotionally Broken – it is natural to look for someone to comfort you when you are hurt, but it’s not a good idea to fill-in that void inside you by entering a new relationship. Remember “Hurting people, hurt people”. Heal and Move-on. “Thank You, Next” is a bad idea, or maybe not this time; sorry Arianna Grande. 😋
     2. Soul Caring – again there’s a void deep inside us that we tried to fill-in. And we are duped believing that someone (opposite sex) can satisfy this void, NOPE! Know that our soul longs for someone bigger and higher than us, a being that can love us unconditionally. And that is nothing else than the maker of our soul, our Lord Jesus Christ; YES! HE IS.
        
4. Family Time
   • This is the perfect time to invest and spend time with your family. Consider this as your training ground for your own future family.
   • Take care of your parents, siblings and also your pets 😂
   • Learn the Leave, Cleave and Weave (google it)
     
5. Develop Yourself
   • Develop your emotion, physical, intellectual and social
   • Evaluate your immaturity, how you react on conflicts and negativity
   • Before finding the right one, be the right one now
   • Be actively waiting, while developing and positioning yourself into a greater purpose of life
   • “mabuti na wala kaysa mali”
     
6. Manage your finances well
   • “Finance before Romance”
   • Financial discipline, keep record your expenses; “it’s not what you have, its what do you do with what you have” principle
   • You don’t need to wait to have a million in bank to say that you are good with finances, although that’s good but overall you just need to be financially responsible
   • It is also important to align your heart, “where your treasure is, there your heart will be also”
     
7. Purpose
   • Know that Singleness is not being lonely. Singleness is a gift. A season where you can flourish and be fruitful in life.
   • For Guys, we are known for a “Man with a Plan” (sense of direction). If you are in the courtship season or in the relationship already, then you should have a plan of getting married soon.
   • But what exactly our purpose of being single? Well, there are a lot to talk about. Maybe we can start by asking yourself:
   • What consumes you? 
   • What consumes your heart? 
   • Is it Career? Money? Relationship?
   • Who is the master of your heart?
   • Is it God? some idols or vices?
   • If you are still looking for your purpose in life then go back to #1, Know Your Identity in Christ. Start small and Start now.